God loves you but I think you are an asshole

Well, ok that's not nice.  But on a recent drive home from Jupiter (90 miles or so) My friend and I saw the oddest thing...
A sky writer, attempting to send a message to the world from the sky with the trail of exhaust from the plane.  Out of the blue (ha ha) a "U" appeared and then then the plane disappeared.  Then suddenly a "+" showed up.  I was too optimistic, I must say, assuming this was a marriage proposal, a simple random proclamation of love, or at the very least an ad for a pizza joint.  But then the letters "G," "O," and (my heart is sinking at this point because I think I know what is coming next......) the "D."  And then the "=" and the smiley face.  Really dude?  Do you not have anything better to do with that fuel?  Do you really want "God" to create an accident with all of the gawkers on I95?  Did the FAA give you clearance for this shit?  Sheesh.

We could only get the "God = :-)" so I am truly sorry if you really needed the "U +" to get the full message.  It's not like I took the "Christ" out of Christmas.

Doin' it on South Beach

I don't "party."  In fact I really cringe when people use the word "party" as a verb.  That being said, a few weekends ago, I "partied."  Friday night was a party in DC with my sis and her boyfriend, which usually ends up in silly debauchery around 5am.  I had a 6:30am flight, so needless to say, I might not have gone to bed.  BUT, I did catch my flight.... in time to take a very short nap, unpack, and make it to a 40th birthday party on South Beach.  The Clevelander.  I don't mean to name names for the sake of "dropping" a name, but Conrad is a friend of a friend, and his family knows how to throw a bash.  I was thrilled to prop my eyelashes up with toothpicks to go.....

This is my friend Dave, and the birthday boy's mother....and be honest, I don't look nearly as tired as I felt, do I?

So this was a party complete with open bar, live music down below by the pool, and body airbrush.  You have not really "partied" in South Beach if you haven't been airbrushed...... and so you might conclude that I have not really "partied" in SoBe.  However, I've watched from the outskirts.....

Birthday Cake

Here is the birthday boy himself... in case he forgot who he was - or we did!



Honestly, a party on South Beach can be lots of fun... it all depends on who you are with, and most importantly, if somebody is willing to make themselves more interesting with a little paint..... it will definitely be good entertainment!

Happy 40th, Conrad!

WiFi & Pool

I just discovered that my pool has free WiFi.  If only mac made a waterproof laptop!  I tell you what.... it was funny to go down and sit by the pool with my laptop only to find 3 other people there working from their lounge chairs.  I guess I now "share" an office!  :-)

Working like this does not suck!

BEACH TIME!

I can't believe it has taken me this long to blog about the beach.  Why do people live in Miami?  The beach.  The water.  The sand.  The bikini-watching.  The savage tans.  Ahhhh the beach.
Guess what?  I went to the beach for the first time this year last Saturday.  I waited until August to hit the beach!  Don't tell my fellow Miamians.... I'd be boo-ed.  Shame on me.

I love the beach, especially Miami Beach, and what I didn't realize was that each cross street defines the beach experience (Miami Beach stretching from 1st & Collins up to 23rd & Collins).  For example, the farthest south you can really go is Nikki Beach - 1 Ocean Drive is the landmark.  Nikki Beach is a resort, club, and the local name for the beach area associated with it.  You can rent umbrellas & chairs there (kinda pricey) and bring your cooler and chill on your plush lounge chair or the sand for some prime people-watching.  This is where the beautiful people hang....

But, go a little north and there is a place where cultures collide too.  My sister and I like to say that the heart of Miami Beach is where Hollywood, the French Riviera and Ohio come together.  You have stars and star wannabes (insert picture of Flo-Rida taping the beach scenes for "Sugar" video here), Europeans who are oblivious but beautiful and exotic (and sometimes topless), and then the obese couple eating fried chicken with their loud screaming kids.  It's truly something to behold.

Waiting for chicken!

Topless!

One day, when I was out walking this particular beach with some friends, we saw this happy photo opportunity....

In case you missed the fine print

So mosey up a bit north to 12th and Collins and you are in a "sea" (pun intended) of banana hammocks, weenie bikinis, grape smugglers, slug huggers, sausage casing... whatever you want to call them.  The nice thing is, these guys usually look good in their speedos.  You get the drift....



So Saturday, I was actually around 21st and Collins, which was fantastic because we could rent chairs and an umbrella for $50 or so, and we were right near a little tiki bar that served food and drinks.  It wasn't too crowded or noisy - or even touristy for that matter.  Just a nice good day at the beach.  And the only photo op was this:

Fruity & Spicy

Hey fellow Miamians!  Have you been to the Fruit & Spice Park?  I think this place is totally cool.  If you don't know, it is 37 acres set aside by the Miami-Dade County Parks and Rec Department in the Redlands. Because this area has a tropical climate like no other in the US, it can host over 500 varieties of fruit and spice trees from all over the world.  There are 150 varieties of mango, 75 different types of bananas, over 70 bamboo specimens and then countless other exotic edibles (and non-edibles).  The cost is $8 for adults, $1.50/children 6-12, under 6 is free, and it is open every day of the year except Christmas.

Jackfruit

My sister was in town for a conference and spent an extra day here so we could play, and we headed off for this park.  It was a hot day, but the trees are so fantastic and shade is abundant.... and it is a nice way to spend an afternoon.

They always have interesting fruits available to taste, and while you can't pick anything off the trees, whatever is on the ground is fair game.  You aren't supposed to leave the park with fruit, but we took big bags and got away with a couple of mangoes and mameys.

So the park is laid out primarily by geography: Asia, Australia, Africa, South America, etc.  Most of the trees have labels on them as well - MOST of them.

Like these.

And then we found things we couldn't identify like this little nugget of goodness.  We sampled this in the Visitor's Center before we entered the park and loved it.  And no, by "nugget of goodness" I am not talking about my sister.  I am talking about the fruit.  And no, I'm still not talking about my sister.

Here's another one we couldn't identify, but luckily there was a sign!  There was an entire "inedible" section....

This was one of my favorites.  From a distance, the blossoms really did look like fried eggs!

I liked the "sausage" tree too  (insert inappropriate joke & giggle here).

We saw so many things - cocao, kola, tamarind, tumeric, lemon grass, star apple, peach, carob, cinnamon.... so very cool!  One of the things I love about living in Florida is the access to so many exotic fruits.  I have become a fruit eater.  I really have always enjoyed vegetables more (I like my fruit in the form of liquid fermentation....), but when Mameys are in season, I'm happy --  they are like a cross between a sweet potato and a papaya and absolutely yummy. The papaya and mangoes are amazing here too. I have fresh-from-someone's-tree mangoes on my countertop (I didn't steal them, friends did!)  Oh and lychees.... I have fresh lychees in my fridge as I type this too!  Lots of work for a stupid little morsel, but oh!  That morsel is so yummy!

Carambola (star fruit)

Mexican Winter Avocado

Definitely worth a visit on a lazy afternoon!

http://fruitandspicepark.org/friends/index.php